Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor Crack

  



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You should have some funny replies for when you're asked, 'What's up?' because it's such a common question that you'll be asked hundreds of times in your life. You don't want to give the same answer every single time or your conversations will get boring and predictable. If you give a bland reply, then it might even end whatever conversation the other person was trying to start. That's why you need to have some funny replies for when you're asked, 'What's up?'

1. My Blood Pressure. Because of You

If you're not a fan of the person you're speaking to, tell them right away. This is one of the funny replies for when you're asked, 'What's up?' that will either get you a laugh or a new enemy, so use it carefully. Of course, you could always replace 'because of you' with something more accurate like, 'because Benedict Cumberbatch just got engaged to someone who isn't me.'

2. A Preposition

The word 'up' is a preposition. So if someone asks you what is up, you can reply in the most literal way possible. They'll either be confused or thankful for the mini English lesson.

3. Your Time is up

If you don't want to be bothered to talk to the other person, use this reply to let them know that you're a busy bee. You don't have enough time to waste on them, because you have better things on your to-do list.

4. It's a Bird.. It's a Plane.. It's Superman!

Don't be afraid to get a little silly. Look up in the sky like you're pondering their question, and then answer it with excitement. The louder you are, the better.

5. The Sky

World of tanks blitz - mega pack download for mac windows 10. This is a classic that everyone has heard time and time again, but it works if you can't think of anything else to say. I mean, it's true, isn't it? They can't fault you for being accurate.

6. I'm Sorry, That's Confidential Information

If you don't feel like telling them what you've been up to, act like you're living a spy's life. Your information is too valuable to be shared, so they'll just have to deal with not hearing all of your crazy, exciting stories.

7. Gas Prices

It's never the wrong time to make a comment about the economy. If you don't drive, then you can say something more relevant, like 'One Direction ticket prices.' Whatever works for you.

Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor Crack

8. The opposite of down. Didn't You Watch Sesame Street?

Here's another way to answer the question literally. If you want to tell them the definition of 'up,' then this is the perfect way to do so.

9. I'm Socially Programmed to Say 'Not Much.'

Let's be honest, 'not much' is the way you answer the question 99% of the time. It's the easiest thing to say, so it pops right out of your mouth. However, next time you're asked the question, answer with this slightly altered reply to see what reaction you get.

'What's up?' is a question that you'll hear almost every single day, which is why you should have a few different responses to it. You don't want to be predictable by always answering in the same exact way, so you have to switch it up. How do you usually reply to the question?

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One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

Devil: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

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Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure I love to drink.

Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. We call it Tequila Monday and that's all we do. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Dark

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay..you're already dead!

Guy: No way!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor Crack

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor Cracking

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before ..

Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ..

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor Cracked

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!!

Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!

Devil: So.. are you gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor Crackle

Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you're gonna HATE Fridays!